


The Science of Connection

by IAmWhelmed



Category: Paranatural (Webcomic)
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Character Analysis (Kinda), F/M, Implied Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 08:45:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7970395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmWhelmed/pseuds/IAmWhelmed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d always loved her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Science of Connection

Since they were children, since he could only crawl, since before he could speak- Ed had always, always, always loved Isabel.

He still remembered the touch of her finger as she led him up the dojo’s staircase his first night under Guerra’s legal watch and hold. He remembered crying in her arms because he missed them- he missed his parents just so, so much. He remembered the smell of her hair when his face was it in, buried in her shoulder as she wrapped careful arms around his back.

He never said a word, not for all the years he’d stayed at her side, for all the weeks and months he spent loving her. He never told her; it was implied.

He didn’t think he needed to say it, at least. Lately things had turned darker, murkier, harder to read between the lines. He dreamt of her climbing into a boat, riding away into the waters of Mayview- far, far away from him. Reality was no different; she spoke to him shortly, shrugged him off, ignored him.

Instead of leaping into a boat, she was head-first in Max’s arms, like he’d been there her whole life, like he meant nothing to her.

He should have been mad, should have been filled with rage that she’d dropped him like stone on a first mistake, but he was only hurt. He could only wonder why, think that he never truly meant to her what she’d meant to him.

She’d abandoned him, left him the same as his parents had.

He thought over the logic of it all, the way Mom and Dad might’ve figured things out had they been him. He mused over chemical reactions and relational psychology, but nothing came back for certain. He spent hours of his nights, stitching together reasons and causes to the effects and affects, experimenting every idea like a live project in his mind.

What would make Isabel come back?

Why’d she leave? How can he reverse it?

Would she come back on her own?

By the end of every trial, every test, one answer always came back to him, decking him in the stomach and leaving him breathless in the worst way possible each time.

He wasn’t good enough.

He’d asked the same questions when his parents left, and he’d come to the same conclusion once again. He wasn’t worth the effort- clearly, because this kept happening.

Different questions muddled his mind, filling every corner with tainted clouds and tearing apart his self-weaved cobwebs.

Would he ever be a man?

He then dreamt of reaching one hand out for her, watching her walk away, raven hair falling like silk over her shoulders like he couldn’t see the indifferent look on her face.

He’d loved Isabel all along, since he could walk, since he could talk, since he knew what love was.

Love was holding her dear, and love was watching her leave him too. He wasn’t so sure he wanted to be in love anymore.


End file.
